Agonic Conjecture

Running Response

2010-03-09T20:56:00.001-08:00

My sister, Johanna, wrote a post about running on her blog last week. The post inspired me to write a rather lengthy comment, which was subsequently destroyed due to an unpublished word-length maximum for comments. I wrote a second comment, promising to rewrite my first comment on my own blog, so here it is (Disclaimer: my comment was meant as a bit of a joke, so it might be best if you read Johanna's post first):

I've discovered the trick to running regularly.

To begin with, a goal is important. In my case, I've signed up for a sprint length triathalon in May. Not having run much in the last couple years, I knew I had to get on it if I expected to seriously compete. I decided that I would start running to and from work, twice weekly. This works pretty well and I've (mostly) been keeping to my schedule.

My run to work takes me about 20 - 25 minutes. Normally, I bike to work and that takes me about 15 - 20 minutes; or at least, the biking part does. When I bike to work, I also have to put on all my biking gear, get into my apartment building's chock-full, difficult-to-maneuver-in bike room, unlock my bike and get it on the road. Then I have to do it all in reverse once I arrive at work. All told, these extra steps take on the order of 5 - 10 minutes, making the total time 'traveled' by foot or bike pretty much the same.

There is a hidden benefit to running to work: When I run to work, I don't have a shower at home (because who would want to have a shower and then go for a run?), nor do I eat breakfast at home; I do both at work instead. In fact, getting ready to go to work when running takes on the order of 15 minutes, while getting ready to go to work when biking takes on the order of 40 minutes. Therefore, I can stay in bed later when I run to work, which is a very easy thing to do since at that time of day I tend to subscribe wholeheartedly to Newton's first law of motion.

Now here's the trick: It's easy to go to bed with the intent of getting up 'late' on the nights before a run since the pre-run anxiety hasn't had a chance to set in. Once I've convinced myself that I can get up 'late', I'm usually pretty successful in deferring any efforts towards getting out of bed until I absolutely have to. Of course, in my sleep-addled state I usually forget that means I'm going running. By the time I'm fully awake and up it's already well past the time I would have to be on the move if I expect to get to work by bike. Therefore, I'm pretty much forced to run to work if I expect to make it on time.

I'm telling you, it's a fantastic system. The only problem is that once I've run almost entirely downhill to work in the morning, I still have to run back home almost entirely uphill.

Olympic spirit

2010-03-03T21:21:00.000-08:00

It's rare for Canadians to demonstrate fierce national loyalty, especially in comparison to the rampant nationalism in the US; Canada Day is a meek affair compared with the Independence Day of our neighbours to the south. The 2010 Winter Olympics, however, turned everything upside down. Canada showed just how proud and excited it could be under the right circumstances. I guess many would say that we let our hair down and abandoned our usual, staid outward personas.

For two weeks, everyone in Vancouver was wearing red. People carried Canadian flags everywhere and wore temporary maple leaf tattoos on their faces. Random recitals of "O Canada" happened all over the city. Passing someone on the street resulted in a high five more often than not - especially after a big medal win. And it seems like it was justified: Canada won more gold medals at the 2010 Winter Olympics than any other country has every won at any Winter Olympic event - that's a big accomplishment.

Yet it wasn't all roses. The Olympic Spirit extends only so far it seems; in this case, as far as our nearest border. I can't say that I witnessed myriad instances of Canadians haranguing Americans, but I saw enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

Most of this harassment seemed to be focused on the preliminary round match-up and the somewhat surprising gold medal match-up between the Canadian and American hockey teams. To some extent, I can understand that there is a certain amount of bitterness to be expected from Canadians towards Americans when it comes to hockey; hockey is unquestionably Canada's game, yet our most talented athletes are exported to the more numerous and successful teams south of the border. Yet this doesn't warrant the vitriolic comments made by some [over-] proud Canadians.

It's a sad thing that such rivalries can't be joked about by everyone. After all, the modern olympics games were founded on the principles of good sportsmanship and peace amongst diverse nations. It's too bad that there are a small number - and I do believe it is small - of people who aren't willing to see past their own narrow preconceptions.

Player change

2010-02-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

I've been having some ongoing discussions with some friends lately about narrative in games. 'Narrative' in itself is a vague term when it comes to games; I find that there is a considerable variety of ideas as to the exact nature of narrative in games. When I speak of game narrative I'm referring to anything that can act as a story vehicle: it could be dialogue; environmental objects including buildings or outdoor terrain; or it could be gameplay structure. Game narrative to me means anything that can be used to help draw the player into the game-fiction.

In game development, film tends to be the first place we look to provide guidance in writing compelling stories, due primarily to the visual nature of both games and film. I don't think there is inherently anything wrong with this, but it is important to remember that games are a very different medium from film. For example, in film (and most other storytelling media) we talk about the need for character development and growth (this is sometimes abridged to the statement 'the character must undergo a change'). The character 'undergoing a change' doesn't necessarily have to be the protagonist, but in many cases it is. In games, this concept becomes complicated due to the fact that conventional game development wisdom states the protagonist should be somewhat of a blank slate; an empty vessel that the player can mold as he or she sees fit.

In games where the player and the character are so closely intertwined, perhaps the goal of the narrative should be to force a change in the player, rather than the character. Then the question becomes: How do you qualify a 'change' in someone as a direct result of a playing a video game? (I don't think behavioural changes, such as those induced by the addictive qualities of games like World of Warcraft are sufficient, by the way). Due to the nature of my employment I haven't spent much time lately playing games outside of the mainstream, but I would guess that there are likely many serious and persuasive games out there that purport to change the player in some way. Have you ever been changed by such a game?

Muscle Memory

2010-02-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

For the last six months I've been riding my 'commuter' bike (a somewhat hacked together used bike with straight, horizontal handlebars and an upright geometry) to and from work. I got on my road bike today (a more aggressive beast with a high seat-post, low drop handlebars, and somewhere around half the weight of my commuter bike) for the first time since last summer. It was a very interesting experience: First off, I nearly fell off as soon as my feet were in the pedals. Then I could hardly keep my front wheel pointed straight. Near the end of my ride, I tried peddling with my hands off the handlebars (something I can do with ease on my commuter bike) and the bike wobbled back and forth like I was on a slalom course.

I've gone long stretches without riding my road bike before, but never while riding another bike in the interim. Balance was sometimes an issue those other times, but not like it was today. Today was an excellent example of the body's ability to remember. All the time I spent practicing and riding on my road bike last summer has been undone by six months of riding twice a day, to and from work for 20 minutes each way. It won't take long to get more comfortable on my road bike; a few weeks of consistent riding will solve that issue. I wonder though if riding both bikes regularly means that I'll never be completely comfortable on either bike.

Yet even when I do get back to my form from last summer, when I was at the peak (or more accurately, a local maximum) of my riding abilities, I'm still a long shot away from the control exhibited by professional road bike racers. There is a whole other level of balance and muscle memory that I don't think I'll ever be party to. It may sound crass, but I've seen professional riders stand in their peddles and urinate from on top of their bikes, all the while travelling downhill at speeds likely approaching 40 or 50 km/h. That kind of stunt takes an awful lot of trust in one's abilities and in the dependability of one's bike. Not something that you're going to catch me trying.

Refocus

2010-02-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

I had a chance to 'refocus' to some degree recently. I realize in retrospect that it's not something I get to do very often; there are always 'things' to do, and rarely time just to chill and think. This past weekend I travelled to Washington with friends, and on Sunday, we went for a walk along a small, glacier-fed river through the middle of a beautiful rainforest. I often feel meditative in such serene natural settings and this weekend was no exception. It was a great opportunity to think about my current and future priorities - one of which was this blog.

I started this blog with the intent of developing my 'essay' writing skills. I say 'essay' because I wanted to try writing shorter pieces about interesting topics in a somewhat (this is where the quotes around 'essay' come in) argumentative style. I think I've done that to a degree, but I believe I've been failing on the qualifier 'short': I'm falling into a bit of a deadly spiral that results in not finding the time to write because I feel that I don't have sufficient time. Hence this compromise: I'm going to try to keep my blog writing to three paragraphs for a while, to see if that helps.

In other writing news, I've finally printed off my NaNoWriMo novel started reading it with an eye to revision. That's about a month or so later than I intended to begin this second phase of the novel, so no more promises on a readable draft by the spring. The extended break was good though - I'm excited about taking up the novel again. I just don't entirely know when I'm going to find the time to work on it. :)

Game Jammin'

2010-01-31T21:18:00.001-08:00

I spent a couple hours yesterday at the Vancouver site of the Global Game Jam. This is the third game jam that I've been a part of, either as a participant or an organizer, and it definitely won't be the last. There is a fantastic energy that permeates a game jam, precipitated by what seems an impossible task: Develop a fully functioning and playable video game within 48 hours. There is enthusiasm, creativity, laughter, mistake and missteps, and an inevitable scramble to the deadline, yet the is both empowering and exhausting. If you have any interest at all in making games, I wholeheartedly endorse the experience.

This time around I wasn't participating; but being among the thirty or so odd game jammers I couldn't help but become somewhat nostalgic for a time less than a year ago when myself and five other students at my school were working on an experimental gameplay project. For three months straight all we did was develop (mostly) Flash and ActionScript3 based experimental video games. Each game was built by two or three people, ranging from 3 days to 2 weeks to complete; by the end of the project we had developed a total of 18 games. You can play some of them here.

Making games so quickly necessitates some sacrifices. Sometimes the 'polish' that a game needs to make a true 'experience' goes out the window; things like extra levels and bonus game play are not generally an option. The upside is that the sacrifices demand a focus on core mechanics - the fundamental actions the player performs to win the game. Since video games are first and foremost meant to be fun it follows that the core mechanic must be fun. This is not an easy problem to solve; fun is most often proved through iteration on the game's design and near-constant tweaks to gameplay - generally not a quick process.

When development is focused exclusively on making a single core mechanic fun, there is a certain purity in the work that I feel is lacking from commercial video game development. (Not to say that commercial video game development is inferior - it's just a different set of challenges.) This purity of focus means that the final product is a game that has no pretensions and no demands on the player other than to enjoy the gameplay; that evident enjoyment is the true reward of game development.

A village of atheletes

2010-01-26T19:54:00.001-08:00

The 2010 Olympics are getting much, much closer. So close, I keep forgetting that they haven't already started, if that makes any sense. It's just over two weeks to the opening ceremonies, when everybody will be watching Vancouver.

This would be the place where I say something like: "The excitement is palpable; the air is tingling with anticipation!" but I can't. Those things could be happening... somewhere, but I haven't seen it. Admittedly, no one would really accuse me of having my fingers on the pulse of the city, so I could be missing something.

There is evidence that the Olympics are near though - don't get me wrong. There are lots of temporary structures, road closures, extra transit lines and routes all pointing to 'an event of significant proportions' which is poised to descend on Vancouver.

The clearest and most notable evidence - from my perspective - is the activity around the Olympic Village. My office happens to be a stone's throw from the swanky new development located at the end of False Creek, south of the downtown core. (By the way, it truly is - or will be a village - once the Olympics are over and done with. There are at least seven or so brand new condo buildings and enough living space for some couple thousand people. The future development plans for the immediate vicinity include: a community recreation centre, complete with outdoor fields; a new primary or elementary school; small shopping centres; banking; etc. There will be more amenities and people living there than can be found in the village I grew up in.)

Up to three or four weeks ago, it was still possible to walk along the scenic pedestrian pathway that travels all the way around False Creek and past the Olympic Village. However, with the road closures came tall fences, checkpoints, and a dearth of security guards, all surrounding the Olympic Village. What that means - I expect - is it'll basically be off limits until the athletes have won or lost and have returned to their homes.

I can see why they need to do it. No one would want anyone slightly off their rocker mingling with the athletes. And the athletes themselves will need their privacy during the events - although I suspect that the Village will house a near constant party as the medals start pouring in. I still feel a little disappointed though. It wasn't really until yesterday that I realized the whole Village would be cordoned off - I was looking forward to walking past on my way to and from work, just to see how much the place would be buzzing with the excitement and anticipation of the world's most talented (mostly) amateur athletes. I guess it's not to be, though.

Immigration

2010-01-20T20:50:00.000-08:00

I have a European friend who has been living in Canada for the last six or seven years attending school, first an undergraduate degree in the Maritimes, then a graduate degree in Vancouver. We only met a couple years ago, but in that time he's has been adamant in his desire to permanently relocate to Canada (he has even already purchased real estate, so he's a Canadian landowner). There are far more opportunities for him in his chosen line of work here in Canada, and he's happy here.

Canadian Immigration has a very different idea, however. After waiting an interminable amount of time following his first application for permanent residence last summer, my friend was denied on the basis that he had apparently not submitted the full application fee. By their books, he was short $25 of the $125 cost. Yet on examining bank his bank records, it was clear that he had sent a cheque for the full amount. No explanation of the missing $25 was forthcoming, but my friend was denied the possibility of reapplication since it was now well past the application deadline.

Luckily, he was able to enter some sort of an appeal process. This involved consulting with an immigration lawyer and sending all the relevant documents to the Canadian Immigration office. A few weeks following his submission, my friend learned that Immigration had again lost part of his application - this time one of the bank statements that he had filed. My friend had to once again send the documents by mail, then wait for their painfully slow reply.

Finally, today, he heard back from Immigration once more. This time they told him to get out of the country. My friend is very unhappy, frustrated and fed up with the one-sided process that has him reacting to everything Canadian Immigration seems to do wrong. But he's not willing to give up. After consulting with his lawyer the determination was made to appeal once more, this time taking the matter to federal court.

The whole thing kind of sickens me. Canada is supposed to be a diverse country that welcomes many people with open arms. My friend has gotten nothing but short shrift from officials at Immigration since this process began. My friend has a tremendous skill set, is excited to be part of Canada, and will help our economy by building business opportunities in the digital media sector. I know of people who have gotten permanent residence status for far less.

On one hand, Canada's reputation on the international stage has been steadily declining in recent years. Our stance on the environment, international diplomacy, and our perceived ties with America have hurt us. On the other hand, I know that Canada has been proactive in encouraging growth in certain sectors through immigration: Research science is a key area that has seen tremendous development through the adoption of the Canada Research Chair program ten years ago. More recently, the Canadian newswire was covered today with the story that Canada is hastening the process of immigration for orphaned Haitian children.

It's clear that Immigration isn't doing everything wrong - but they certainly seem to be having a hard time doing some things right. I really hope that the positives are an indication that there is some sense to Canadian Immigration laws, and that my friend will obtain permanent residency. It would be a shame if this episode were an indication that we are slowly becoming more insular, like our neighbours to the south. Especially since we have all this extra space.

Supernatural

2010-01-14T22:36:00.000-08:00

I spoke with a friend today about his growing fascination with the supernatural. His interest comes primarily from the mystery; the clues that seem to lead the astute down a path to eldritch or ancient knowledge, long hidden from the common man. Perhaps the trail begins as far back as 40 thousand years ago with the cave paintings in Lascoux, where primitive man first began recording his knowledge of the world around him.

The supernatural (and I use the term very loosely) seems to hold some interest for the vast majority of us - if such a thing can be judged by the New York Times Best Sellers list. But the supernatural is still outside of the mainstream: Science and art are two sides of the same coin - both are searching for a measure of truth, each using very different methods. Yet for many people neither science nor art have the ability to answer some very fundamental questions; instead, some people turn to faith and religion. Each of these three, science, art and religion, have the same goals in mind, and I would guess that nearly everyone subscribes to at least one of them. The supernatural however, has very little place in any of science, art or religion.

But I think for many people - even if they claim not to be superstitious - the supernatural represents a potential connection with other human beings. It's a bridge between our everyday lives and the unknown; a communion between the living and the dead, or between us and our ancestors. In some way, the supernatural offers connections and reassurances that science, art and religion never will - the reassurance that even as an individual, you're part of something larger, something greater than yourself. The supernatural can also provide insight into something that science, art and religion can never know - like the reasons our ultimate ancestors created all those cave paintings.

Personally, I tend more towards skepticism. I like to have the proof in front of me before I'm willing to admit to belief. However, I do enjoy a good story, and it is fun to consider all the crazy possibilities that spur from investigations into apparently unexplainable phenomenon. If nothing else, it's all great material for writing and for game design.

Criticism and Enjoyment

2010-01-12T21:32:00.001-08:00

Have you seen Avatar? If you haven't you're one of the few. Don't worry, I won't write any spoilers here.

I've heard a lot of people say a lot of things about Avatar. Most say they liked it. There are a few here and there that have said it was trash, but they seem to be in the minority. I haven't really had any in-depth discussions about the movie with anyone, and I'll be the first to admit that my knowledge of film criticism is tenuous at best - so my opinions come mostly from my gut, not from lengthy discourse, or a filmmaker's education. That's a disclaimer.

I liked Avatar. I liked it enough that I am more than willing to overlook it's faults. And because of that I've been thinking a lot lately about the nature of criticism. Why do we criticize? Especially when it comes to something like film? Maybe it's for altruistic reasons - to save your buddy that $12 he would have otherwise spent going to see an over-hyped piece of junk. Or maybe it's because we like to prove how much smarter we are than the people who made the movie in question. Or perhaps it's something in the middle: We criticize because it helps create intelligent discussion around the effectiveness of the film, and it teaches us how to improve better.

I like to think it's the latter. And therefore, I think criticism is a good thing. But what I've realized in the last week is that I no longer want criticism to detract from my enjoyment of a film, a book, a game, whatever. I don't think this is new (I'm a die-hard Tolkien fan, and I can remember being upset when I found out Jackson was cutting Tom Bombadil. But, as we all know, it turned out okay. I remember saying, after seeing the film adaptation of the Fellowship of the Ring, that it really wasn't the way Tolkien wrote it - but I don't care. It was Jackson's vision, and he did a fantastic job of interpreting it.), but I can't recall if I've been dissatisfied with anything I've watched/read/played recently because of critical feelings I had towards the work.

I feel like I'm walking a fine line here. I'm sure there must be something out there that I would have a hard time saying I enjoyed. I can only ever remember one book that I started to read that - at the time - disgusted me so much that I couldn't finish it. Sure, there have been many books that I haven't finished, but mostly due to a shift in priorities. I can't recall any video games - at least recently - that I disliked enough not to continue playing.

The point is that I feel there must be something of value in everything. Is that naive? I don't know. I feel like I'm typing myself in circles. In any case, I'm going to try to be more conscious of my state of enjoyment and my level of criticism. Hopefully they can balance one another out.

Long days, short weekends.

2010-01-10T21:35:00.000-08:00

We have a major deliverable due at my studio at the end of the month. This means, inevitably, that we have a lot of work to do in the meantime to make sure it garners us top marks with our publisher. Which means, unsurprisingly, that I've been working quite a bit of overtime since New Year's, and will continue to do so through to the end of the month. To be precise, I worked six days last week (Monday through Saturday), three of them 10+ hour days. One of them was closer to 12.

I draw a parallel to writing (the only other creative process I know well): I never really feel as though a story I've written is 'done'. And I know from other writers - amateur as well as professional - that not many of them do either. At work, we have some pretty well-defined mandates for the milestone we're trying to hit, and I don't think that there is too much concern that we won't meet them. What is really getting under everyone's skin, in my opinion, is whether or not we can make it better. Just like any time I've done writing for a contest - I'm forever revising and re-writing right up to the last minute, just because I always feel like it could be better.

I think that game development is very similar: There is always that one feature, if we'd only had another month - even another week - could have made the game so much better. Designers are forever looking for that one elusive mechanic that can make their game stand out in the crowd. But even once they find it - if they find it - it can still be made better, more fun, more engaging -if only there was just a little more time left to test and iterate it.

And so we work late. And on weekends. Just to get all that extra stuff in that will help make our game look and feel so much more fun than any other game on the market. And so our publisher can look at it and say, 'Wow, we really should be investing a lot of money in this' (yes, it is all driven by the bottom line...).

But do you know what? I'm really happy about it. I still love going to work every day, I love what I do and I'm happy to stay those long hours, because I'm proud of the work that we're doing as team.

It's a nice feeling to have.

Reality TV

2010-01-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

I don't watch television very regularly. It's not that I couldn't find something to watch on a regular basis - despite the fact that most television is crap, I'm sure I could find at least a semi-intelligent/interesting program to watch. As I write this however, I am sitting on my couch watching the season premiere of The Biggest Loser.

Over the past couple years I've actually watched more than a few episodes of The Biggest Loser. Tonight it just happened to be on when we turned on the TV after dinner. If you haven't heard of it, or seen it, it's not too dissimilar from any other reality TV show on the air: Participants compete against one another for the grand prize, teams or individuals are voted off on a weekly basis. There is immunity, and challenges, and the inevitable drama (although far less of it than you would find in a show like The Bachelor). The producers are liberal with their editing: using interview segments as a tool for foreshadowing, and camera cuts to provide suspense and drama.

The difference between The Biggest Loser and all the other reality TV shows that I've ever heard of, is that The Biggest Loser is doing something laudable. The contestants are grossly overweight - some are actually above 400 pounds - none are below 200 pounds. Every week, each team of two competes to lose the most weight; the team that loses the least is 'voted' off the show. By the end of the season, the contestants have often lost 100 pounds or more, and their lives have been changed for the better - and that's not just the winners. Many of the teams voted off the show continue to follow their weight loss plan at home.

One must believe that given the excellent ratings the show is receiving, many more people at home must be persuaded to make their own concerted effort at weight loss. So not only is The Biggest Loser changing the lives of a select few every season, it must also be changing the lives of many others. At least, that's what I hope.

All that to say, reality TV isn't all bad.

Flash fiction

2009-12-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

I recently learned of a contest being held by one of the Internet-based writing groups that I belong to: Write a short story to be judged and critiqued by the group's members, the story with the greatest acclamation at the end of the judging period wins. Not so tough - except that the story can be a maximum of 715 words.

I can understand the organizers' desire for brevity. Assuming that even a fraction of the membership submitted a story, there would still be a considerable number of pages to be read. Though how they came up with the number 715, rather than say, 750 or 800 is quite beyond me.

In any case, 715 words is treading in the region of flash fiction more than short story. I've been a fan of flash fiction ever since reading Donald Barthelme's Forty Stories a few years ago; I've even tried writing some myself, although I've never quite managed to write one as short as 715 words. It's daunting, really, to try to convey a sense of character, setting, theme, whatever in so few words.

But I was listening to some music on my iTunes this evening, and I remembered that most song lyrics consist of far fewer than 715 words. Of course, musicians have the benefit of music to help evoke an emotional connection, but character and setting - plot even, if it applies - is all conveyed through lyrics. And we all have our favourite songs, those that resonate strongly with who we are and what we believe - so clearly a 715 word story is not only possible, it's almost more common than its longer cousins.

That helped give me a little more confidence. So I started writing a first draft - I finished that in 586 words. :)

Motivation

2009-12-15T21:17:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a bit about motivation. This stems from my second to last post about priorities. In my last post I mentioned deadlines and convenience as key factors, but that only seems to apply to those things that I've been putting off, or things that have slipped to the bottom of the 'to do' pile.

What about the things that I do on a daily basis - like going to work, or a near daily basis - like writing in this blog? It's not fear of reprisal - at least, that's certainly not foremost in my mind for either of the above examples. The more I think about it, the more I believe the answer for me is commitment. Perhaps that seems obvious, but there are any number of other things that could be driving an individual to go to work everyday: to collect a paycheque, for example. Fame, or the attempt to attain it, could drive someone to write a blog.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't need the money I earn at work, and there is obviously some part of me that doesn't mind talking out loud (to myself?); but the real reason that I go to work and write in this blog is certainly commitment. I made a promise, and I plan on keeping it. That doesn't mean I intend to stay in the same job for the rest of my life, nor that I will continue writing in this blog until they nail shut my coffin; there is an ending to all things, my job and this blog included - but not until there is a good reason for it.

So rest easy, dear readers. At least until something better comes along. ;)

Mathematics

2009-12-13T19:44:00.000-08:00

I like math. Many people assume that this must mean I like numbers, or Sudoku, or programming. It happens that I do like all of those things, to varying degrees, but not because I like math. Many people believe I must like numbers, Sudoku and programming because they're about as close to mathematics as many people get in their daily lives. Some university students obtain a deeper understanding of mathematics from their university courses, yet very few people have any understanding what mathematicians do.

What I actually love about mathematics is its ability to describe things. I say things because mathematics can 'describe' a great deal: You can use math to forecast weather patterns, or to model the motions of stars and galaxies, or to predict the growth of populations. All of these things fall into the mathematical field of 'modelling': using mathematical theory to explain the behaviour of natural phenomena. Of course, some of the mathematics of modelling falls into other categories as well - the varying mathematical fields are nothing if not incestuous: The mathematics of weather prediction also falls under the field of dynamical (chaotic) systems; the motion of stars and galaxies has applications in algebra and topology; and the growth of populations sees use in economic theory.

But it goes deeper. There are very esoteric and highly advanced branches of mathematics that on the surface have absolutely no bearing on our reality, whatsoever. Or so it seems, initially. Probably the best example of an unexpected use of mathematics is number theory in cryptography. Number theory is the branch of mathematics that seeks to understand the properties of numbers; a very old and deep field of study that I can't do justice explaining in a single blog post. Suffice to say, that the 'properties of numbers' has confounded and fascinated people for thousands of years - all the way back to the early Greeks. Cryptography, the practice of hiding information, has been around for almost as long; but modern cryptography - without which, you wouldn't be able to use a debit card - is less than a century old. Modern cryptography makes extended use of advanced number theory, drawing on the properties of numbers to disguise important information - like a debit card PIN.

It's pretty cool to be able to describe things with an abstract tool like mathematics. Some might say that doing so takes magic away from the experience - the Northern Lights are beautiful to behold, but to reduce them to a set of equations is to diminish their splendour. However, I believe there is beauty in both - in fact, I believe both are necessary. There is an elegance to the mathematical form that can't be achieved through a verbal or written description; yet there is nothing to compare to the experience of actually seeing the bright ribbons of green light arcing across the northern sky.

So I like numbers, Sudoku, and programming. But what I really like is nature, natural phenomena, and complex behaviour. And most of all, I like to obtain a deeper understanding of how those things work by describing them with mathematics.

Priorities

2009-12-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

I guess a week and a half is long enough to have left the blog lie dormant. It's been that long since I've done any real writing too - the curse of NaNoWriMo: Writing so consistently and intensely for 30 consecutive days entails a necessary break. Last year though, that break lasted six months. I didn't intend for it to turn out that way; I took a week off, then another week, then there was Christmas preparation, and Christmas, and New Year's, and the beginning of the new semester at school, and school work, and on and on and on until six months had passed.

It's a question of time, and priorities. We're forever complaining about time - the lack of it, or the 'speed' at which it travels forward (either too fast or too slow). We prioritize to ensure that we're making the best use of our time. Most often, things like work or school and family (or the equivalent) top the list, followed by socializing and hobbies. But for many of us, the number of things to be done far exceeds the amount of time available. So certain 'priorities' slowly drop down the list until they fall off entirely. Like my writing last year.

I don't mean to say that I completely forgot about writing; there have been few days in recent years that I haven't thought about writing in some form. But writing did take a back seat to all the other things that needed to be done. I've never been one for making use of organizational techniques - like using a calendar to keep track of my schedule (although there are times when I probably should have...), or making 'to do' lists. I do keep a constantly fluctuating priority list in my head, but it's a fairly high level, major project kind of list including things like writing.

So how do I define priorities for that list in my head? Is it interest? If I'm feeling more excited about one of those items on my list it is more likely that I'll try to check it off. Or is it serendipity? If it is convenient to check an item off the list then I'll do so. More often though, it comes down to deadlines. I don't know that there has ever been a time that I've sat down to assign a numerical value to the items in my list. What does that say about my priorities? It seems to me that they're very 'Heiesnberg-ian' in nature; the very act of thinking about the list seems to change the priorities in some way. I guess that's not entirely unreasonable, as long as all those 'necessities' are completed.

NaNoWriMovember Day 30

2009-11-30T21:35:00.001-08:00

That's it. C'est fini. That's a 30 day moustache on the left and the proof of 50 000 words on the right. Crazy month - happily it only comes once a year.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who supported me in both my writing and in donating to the Movember cause. It's been a great month, and I'm happy to say I have a lot to show for it. Although you'll have to be satisfied with just the moustache for now; I won't be offering the novel for reading before putting it through at least one more draft - maybe by the spring, if I can find the time to do it. :)

NaNoWriMovember Day 29

2009-11-29T22:03:00.000-08:00

One day left: 2000 words and one moustache. Hoo-rah.

NaNoWriMovember Day 28

2009-11-29T00:42:00.000-08:00

Yes. I missed yesterday. Yes. I have an excuse: I've ended up with another cold. I don't know how, but it laid me out last night. Today was better, but I'm not yet 100% (yes, Mother, I'm drinking lots of fluids, and I'm eating just fine).

Anyway. No update yesterday, and no writing. The two kinda go hand in hand. Today I wrote 5000 words (again) and have gotten my total count up to 43K. That's not so bad. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm supposed to be going to ultimate frisbee on Monday night, I would say that I'm within reach of winning. Perhaps the cold is actually a blessing in disguise in that regard; not so good to be out running around in the rain after dark.

I procrastinated pretty much all day long with the whole writing thing. Got up at 8am, meant to start writing immediately, got distracted by breakfast, then televised Men's Downhill Alpine racing from Lake Louise, then a variety of other things. Got about 1700 words in sometime mid-afternoon, then we had to get groceries. By the time we got back, we had to eat dinner then run out the door again to see the opening night of a friend's play on Granville Island. When we got back home, I was distracted once again for about an hour. That took me to about 11pm.

Then I actually started writing. I wrote 3300 words between 11pm and 12:30am. That's a lot of words for an hour and a half. So I ask myself, if I can write that much in that short a period of time, why the hell haven't I finished this novel already?

Motivation. Those 3300 words were really words I was particularly happy with. There might be a couple passages in there that will spur some interesting ideas in a second draft, but on the whole, it's fodder for the word count. It's all about content at this point - I just want to hit the 50K so that I have a reasonable amount of pages and ideas before I start that second draft, but I'm beginning to feel (wait, who am I kidding - 'beginning'?) that I don't really need this extra stuff and I just want to start the rewrite now. Forget the 50K goal. Enjoy my weekend without having to spend time worrying about the novel.

But I can't - can't seem to let go. So, finally, after hours of trying to avoid it, I sit my ass down and get something done. And it's good - but it's late. And I can't understand why I just don't do it earlier and avoid all the procrastination bullshit.

Because 7000 words still feels like a lot, is why. :P

NaNoWriMovember Day 26

2009-11-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

Okay. Reached the 3000 word minimum for the day - I'm now at 38K. I was hoping to maybe hit 40K tonight, but I was home late from work, and I got distracted by the Internet at one point... Alas it is late, and I still need to go back to work tomorrow. So 40K will have to wait for another time.

NaNoWriMovember Day 25

2009-11-25T22:55:00.000-08:00

There we go. That's late night me again. Slipped my mind to take a picture this morning. So instead you get tired me after spending the last couple hours drilling some more words into the novel. I'm above 35K now, so it's definitely the home stretch. I think 30K is probably the hardest milestone to start from - 20K feels like a lot. But once you're past 35K and closing on 40K, things seem a little more reasonable.

At least, I can say that now - five days from the end. We'll see how I feel on Sunday when the deadline is looming even closer.

NaNoWriMovember Day 24

2009-11-24T23:32:00.000-08:00

If you're still reading this, you must be disgusted with me for being so lame. I'm kinda disgusted with me for being so lame. You can tell - that's my disgusted face to the left of this text.

Anyway, I really wish I could blog something of substance, but I'm still too far behind on the writing. Tonight, I was supposed to be at 40K words. I'm at 31.5K. Not quite as far behind as I was about ten days ago, but still significantly further back than I was hoping for at this late date.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I'll find enough time to get more written before the weekend.

NaNoWriMovember Day 23

2009-11-23T22:24:00.000-08:00

Mondays are hard. I have an ultimate frisbee game right after work. I don't get home till about 10pm, at which point I'm usually slightly frozen and very wet (lots of rain these last couple of weeks). So I have a shower, then it's 10:30pm and I need to go to bed.

So I didn't write.

That's my excuse.

However, there is a bright side: I did grow my moustache a tiny bit longer today. Accomplishment!

NaNoWriMovember Day 22

2009-11-22T21:13:00.001-08:00

TEDxVancouver was fantastic! Such a great experience to be amongst so many amazing thinkers and doers. It was a long day - talks started sometime around 9:30am (a little late) and were finished around 5:30pm. It was a great line up of live speakers and pre-recorded TED talks that fit well with the TEDxVancouver theme: Forever Young.

I won't write a lot about it right now. I think I'll write a review sometime next week, perhaps. After NaNoWriMo is complete, and potentially after I've had a chance to see some of the talks a second time (they should be posted on the TEDx YouTube channel relatively soon).

However, what I will say is that the production value of the event was fantastic. It really looked like a TED event. The venue - EA's campus in Burnaby - really helped. The organizers did a fantastic time, despite a few bugs here and there. My only real disappointment was that one speaker, Nicholas Molnar, wasn't able to deliver his talk due to some technical difficulties. Apparently, he'll be speaking at an upcoming TEDxVancouver community event however, and they'll also be recording the talk and uploading it to the TEDx YouTube channel.

The news is that there will be another TEDx event in Vancouver soon - this one hosted by UBC. Looking forward to learning more about that as well!

NaNoWriMovember Day 20

2009-11-20T22:28:00.000-08:00

TEDxVancouver tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I don't have so much to say tonight, but tomorrow I'll probably have lots. So that's it, that's all. Good night, and good luck.

NaNoWriMovember Day 19

2009-11-19T22:35:00.000-08:00

Wow. This picture is not particularly flattering. Ah well, these things happen.

Something came up, so I didn't write today. These things happen too, I guess. It's unfortunate, since I was hoping to take a day off tomorrow, but it doesn't seem like that is going to be.

In other news, Google Chrome OS was released today. There had been some speculation that it would appear before the end of the year, although to my knowledge Google was pretty tight-lipped about it. We should be seeing Chrome OS enabled netbooks by this time next year, at the latest. I have to admit, it's a tempting thought: light weight, both physically and digitally; extremely fast; does 99% of what I use my computer for. Of course, if I ever wanted to spend time making a game, or programming, or drawing using a tablet, it'd be totally useless - but how often do I really get around to doing any of those things? Currently, not too often. I think I'll wait to see what the price point is before making a commitment either way.

NaNoWriMovember Day 18

2009-11-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Forgot to take a picture this morning, so this is another night time shot. The lighting in the apartment at night doesn't make for taking very good photos, which is why this one is a little weird.

So... Not really getting any better at not leaving this to the last minute. Seems I've said that a number of times before. Maybe tomorrow will cure me of my procrastination.

Of course, I didn't promise particularly thrilling content for the month of NaNoWriMovember; hence the photographs.

NaNoWriMovember Day 17

2009-11-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

Well... Got my new fancy license today. It's a little creepy actually, with the day 9 moustache. It's black and white, and they told me not to smile so it definitely does look like a mug shot. Maybe I'll find a scanner one of these days and post it. Should be good for a laugh.

Passed the half way point with the novel tonight. +25 000 words. That's only two days late, so not too bad. Still looking like I'm going to have to buckle down in that last weekend of the month.

The speaker list for TEDxVancouver was posted today. Looks like it's going to be good - although I'm basing that almost entirely on the bios that were posted on the TEDxVancouver site; I've previously attended a talk by one of the speakers on the list, and have heard before of only two others - everyone else is a mystery to me. It funny though, I really don't know what to expect when it comes to the actual conference. Having never thought of trying to go to TED before, I've never looked into what actually happens at one of these events. And I've decided - no spoilers! It's going to be a surprise on Saturday. :)

NaNoWriMovember Day 16

2009-11-16T23:49:00.000-08:00

This is a blog post.

/sigh

NaNoWriMovember Day 15

2009-11-15T23:31:00.001-08:00

Okay. Still working on the whole 'shouldn't be doing this right before going to bed' routine. Maybe I'll eventually start giving myself bad dreams - like if you eat too much rich food right before going to sleep.

Didn't get quite as far along as I hoped today (wow... big surprise), but I'm only 2500 words behind now, which is better than the 9000 it was the other day. And bonus: had a bit of an epiphany tonight that made figuring out the next steps a little easier.

I think the near halfway part is probably the toughest hurdle. I've gotten this far and suddenly realize: shit, now I have to do it all over again. I remember having that feeling last year too. It'll all be downhill once I reach 35K or so. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.

Just gotta make it there first...

NaNoWriMovember Day 14

2009-11-14T23:29:00.001-08:00

20 000 words - with apologies to Jules Verne. Still behind, but 5000 words tomorrow to catch up is not entirely unreasonable. I'm not sure how I feel about my characters at the moment. I think tomorrow I might go back and add some stuff to what I've already written. That's not rewriting, mind you, just adding a bit more meat to the particularly spare parts.

Not much more to update right now, so we'll call it a night. I've gotta stop leaving this to the five minutes before I finally succumb to sleep...

NaNoWriMovember Day 13

2009-11-13T23:17:00.000-08:00

Friday the 13th. Well, there's about 40 minutes left, but nothing untoward has happened yet. I still have to brush my teeth though, so anything could happen.

I didn't write today (I need to get about 9ooo words by the end of the weekend so that I can get back to 'on schedule'), but I did go to a moustache party. The bar was pretty packed (well beyond fire code regulations, I would guess) so there were plenty of envious glances towards our fantastic facial hair. I think we're going to have to make a point of doing that more often.

NaNoWriMovember Day 12

2009-11-12T23:25:00.000-08:00

Oops. Forgot to take a picture this morning, and I almost forgot to write this today. It's late, and my moustache need's its beauty rest. See you tomorrow.

NanoWriMovember Day 11

2009-11-11T21:54:00.003-08:00

No huge updates today. Got a bit more writing in, so I've managed to stave off the NaNo guilt a little longer. I'm still behind, but no worse - and maybe a little better - than I was yesterday. Kelly has tried to make me promise that I'd catch up by the weekend, and I kinda tried to avoid it (promising, I mean), but I'll likely have to if I expect to hit the 50K.

50K is a good number for a lot of reasons. It's a nice round number and it's quite a large number, so it certainly sounds like an achievement if you hit it. It's a very reasonable number if you can manage to keep ahead of it - 1600 or so words a day for 30 days straight doesn't sound quite so bad. Despite all that, it's a fairly meaningless number. The whole NaNoWriMo exercise is about getting a respectable amount of content on paper - but it really doesn't matter how one defines 'respectable'. Most of the novels written during NaNoWriMo aren't going to be particularly readable, but they'll definitely contain a lot of great fodder that could contribute to something great.

And that's really the point of the whole event. It's to get all of us who say we want to write off our asses so that we actually do it - rather than just talk about it, or dream about it. So when it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter how much one person writes - only that they do. No matter what you come up with, you're almost guaranteed to have something worth bringing through to a second draft. So who really cares about 50K anyway? Just keep writing. :)

NaNoWriMovember Day 10

2009-11-10T23:38:00.000-08:00

I'm happy. Very happy as you can see. I got an excellent gift in my inbox this morning when I checked my email: I have been accepted to attend the upcoming TEDxVancouver event on November 21st.

If you haven't heard of TED... well then you're missing out. TEDx is an officially sanctioned, but independently organized, TED-like event. They've been happening all around the world and they've produced some fantastic talks. The TEDx conferences are generally limited to a total of 100 participants (plus speakers, organizers, media, sponsors, etc.); the application process to attend TEDxVancouver was pretty intense. I had to answer, I think, six essay type questions and provide references. They liked my application though! So me and 99 other Vancouverites get to attend the inaugural TEDxVancouver in a week and a half. Very exciting.

On a slightly less positive note... I've not gotten much writing done in the last couple of days. Tomorrow is a stat holiday however, so I'll be taking advantage of that to play catch up. More details to follow.

NaNoWriMovember Day 9

2009-11-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

Funny story: Tomorrow (well, now actually, since its already tomorrow where I was born) is my birthday. I've been living in BC for four years now, but I only surrendered my PEI driver's license two years ago, when we moved to Vancouver from Victoria. That means my driver's license expires... tomorrow. Guess who didn't remember until yesterday? Yup, yours truly.

Well, I was lucky to remember, really. If I hadn't, they might have made me go through the whole rigamarole of applying for a new license, complete with written test and driving test. That would have been a pain. So its a happy story in the end.

Or is it?

You may recall that a provincial driver's license is a primary form of ID. Therefore, it must have an updated picture on it. I'm sorry if I'm drawing this out for those of you who might already have clued in - but yes, it means that magnificent moustache you see above is to be immortalized (well, at least until my new license expires) in a mug shot officially sanctioned by the Province of BC as me. Legitimately, 100%, unquestionably... irrevocably - me. :)

Funny, no?

NaNoWriMovember Day 8

2009-11-08T14:43:00.000-08:00

Note the new theme: Yesterday I had my left eyebrow raised, today it's my right. Yesterday I actually tried raising my right eyebrow, but realized in the last second before the picture was taken that it was hidden by my hair. I did a quick shift from right to left just in time for the shutter to fall. I'm lucky that I noticed it when I did. Had I been a split second later, I may have ended up with one of those pictures you see of people half way through a blink or a muscle twitch, the moment of asymmetry frozen in time forever. It would have been a sad day.

Still a little short on the writing front. I suppose that's probably because I haven't actually done any since my last post, last night. The theme of NaNoWriMo for me this year seems to be 'catch-up'. Which I suppose is better than 'epic fail'... I might be scrambling a little in that last weekend before the 30th. That'll be the day my protagonist starts to learn Charter of Rights and Freedoms by rote, I think.

NaNoWriMovember Day 7

2009-11-07T14:07:00.000-08:00

Yes. I cheated. I didn't upload a photo yesterday like I promised I would. I could blame it on the cold I was busy recovering from, but it really doesn't take that much effort to snap a picture.

Still a little behind on the writing front. Should be at around 12500 words today, but I just wrapped up 10000. That puts me about a day and a third behind, or probably about an hour-and-a-half or two of solid writing. Not so difficult when I know where I'm going. Can't say that's always the case, but things are starting to take shape in my mind, at least.

It's still very difficult not to fall into the rhythms of 'telling' as opposed to 'showing'. I guess that's probably just because I have to fill that daily quota and I'm not thinking too hard about how I'm communicating. I'm excited about this project though, because I feel it actually has legs; I feel like it could actually go somewhere. Getting that first draft down isn't even half the battle though: I foresee many rewrites in my near future. Right now, I know the novel reads like crap, but at least it has some of the plot/setting stuff nailed down, and I think it does an okay job of conveying some of the ideas and thematic elements that I'm trying to hit on. That 'okay' part is going to be the one that takes the most rewriting. Should be a good time.

NaNoWriMovember Day 5

2009-11-05T08:55:00.000-08:00

The astute observer will note that I'm wearing the same t-shirt as yesterday. There's a very good reason for that: my conclusion from last night has turned out to be correct. I have a cold, and I am staying home from work for the day. Therefore, I decided there was no particular reason for me to dress in a nice clean shirt, since I'm just going to get it covered with germs anyway. The only person I have to impress today is you, dear reader. And I would wager that you're already substantially impressed by the proto-moustache I am sporting.

Just imagine: My current moustache times six. If you can manage to picture that in all it's hirsute glory, then that is what I will look like by the end of the month of Nov... excuse me. The end of the month of NaNoWriMovember.

As for the other half of NaNoWriMovember (or perhaps it would be best to say the 'active' part. Growing a moustache is a fairly passive challenge, except for the occasional shave) well, it's still going. I've got 3600 or so words, which puts me behind by about a day if I'm going to complete with 50K on the nose. I took a look through some of the 'Literary' NaNoWriMo forums last night, and they seem to describe my process pretty well: You know where you're characters have come from, and you know how they got to their present place, but you have no idea where they're going. Well, I've got a bit of an idea. Hopefully it'll play out.

NaNoWriMovember Day 4

2009-11-04T22:19:00.000-08:00

Blech. Despite my near-happy grin, I am feeling somewhat ill. I think I have come down with a bit of a cold.

Strange - but perhaps not surprising - how my blog has suddenly migrated to 'status update central' with the onset of NaNoWriMovember.

NaNoWriMovember Day 3

2009-11-03T22:33:00.001-08:00

Dragon Age: Origins was released today. That'll be 80 or so hours of my life disappeared in my Xbox 360. Played a little bit tonight - instead of actually writing, or something productive like that.

Okay. I think I have to find a better system here. Played Dragon Age instead of writing, and I've been leaving the blog off till the last minute before I go to bed - not ideal. Anyway, at least there is another picture.

NaNoWriMovember Day 2

2009-11-02T06:35:00.001-08:00

Not much visible progress yet. In fact, I didn't even shave this morning... and you can't really tell. I'm not sure if that's cheating or not.

Not too much progress made on the whole writing front today either. At least, not a lot of visible progress. I'm only at about 1400 words, which is about 1600 further behind than I should be. But I've been putting time into my outline, in addition to the actual story. I'm betting that will help me more than harm me as we close on the end of the month.

Um... That's it for tonight. Short moustache, short post.

NaNoWriMovember Day 1

2009-11-01T20:26:00.001-08:00

Ok. This is image #1: me sans facial hair. I suppose it doesn't mean much to anyone who doesn't really know me. I probably should have posted before and after shots, but I didn't actually think of that until after I had already shaved off half the beard. You'll also note the five o'clock shadow - I took this one late in the evening. I'll try to take all the other ones in the morning from now on.

First day of NaNoWriMo as well. It went alright. Got a bit of an outline done, and wrote about 1000 words so far. That's a little less than the 1500\day that I need to do to achieve the minimum 50 thousand - assuming I write the minimum each day for the whole month. I'll try to put some more into it tonight before I go to bed.

The biggest problem that I'm facing with NaNoWriMo right now is trying not to rush. I'm much more accustomed to writing short stories - it'll be hard to break the tendancy to get everything wrapped up in less than 10 or so pages. It's a bit of a shift in the way I think about writing, I suppose. Anyway, I'm not too worried, it'll come eventually. And there's no rules to say that you have to write everything linearly. I suspect that I'll end up going back and forth to fill in some details throughout the month.

A warning

2009-10-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

November is a busy month. It also happens to be my favourite month: my birthday and my wife's birthday are both in November; and although we sometimes see snow in October, November is the month that we're guaranteed to see some up in the mountains. What makes November a little more interesting/busy this year is that I have two challenges to complete: NaNoWriMo and Movember.

NaNoWriMo stands for: National Novel Writing Month, although it goes far beyond a single nation these days. During NaNoWriMo - which lasts the entire month of November - each participant is expected to write a 50,000 word novel. As you probably know writing is hard, but for many of us deadlines and encouragement are great motivators. NaNoWriMo was created with those two facts in mind; the community has been steadily growing since its inception in 1999 with the original 21 pariticpants, to last year's nearly 120,000 writers. Of course, not everyone makes it to the 50,000 words - last year there were nearly 22,000 'winners'. I'm happy to say that I was one of them.

Last year I jumped right in to NaNoWriMo without really putting a plan in place before hand. I wouldn't necessarily say that that was a mistake, but it definitely made writing a little more difficult. There were some serious plot pitfalls along the way that could have been avoided with an outline. This year, I've already put some thought into my forthcoming novel, but I haven't managed to find all the time I hoped to create a full outline. Looks like I'll be winging it to some degree this time around too. Perhaps I'll spend time doing a bit more research and outline writing tomorrow, rather than jumping straight into writing.

Movember, my second challenge of the month, is a fundraising event to support research into the cure and treatment of prostate cancer. Like most fundraising events, the fundraisers must do something symbollic (run a marathon, give up a favourite pass-time, etc.) to encourage people to donate to the cause. In this case, I have to grow a moustache - and only a moustache! No beards permitted. Now, I've not been clean shaven in somewhere approaching seven years; I've worn a beard all that time, so this is kind of a big deal. I suspect that my poor skin is going to suffer somewhat over the first couple of days while it gets used to the feel of a razor on a daily basis again.

So why is this post a warning? With my two month-long challenges, I fear that I might continue to slip further behind on the blog writing side of things. So, to keep this site active for the month of NaNoWriMovember, I promise to post moustache progress images on a daily basis. That way, even if I can't find the time to write, there will at least be some new content every day.

Wish me luck. :)

Vertigo

2009-10-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

I saw U2 perform last night in Vancouver - the final show of their worldwide 360 tour. Me, and 60 thousand other people. Last night was the first time that I had ever attended a concert of that magnitude - hell, it might have been the first time I ever attended an event of any kind of that magnitude. It was... an experience; definitely something that is worth doing once in a lifetime, if you have the chance.

U2 are like gods. Really. The power they exhibited over the crowd last night was phenomenal. I was sitting in nearly the top tier, on an angle from the front of the stage. That put me somewhere in the neighbourhood of 100 to 150 metres from where Bono and the boys stood; yet even from that distance, there was no mistaking the force that is U2. Admitedly, that could have been helped by the 360 degree, wrap around screens that played a live feed from the cameras that surrounded the stage...

The cameras and the screens were an interesting phenomenon in themselves. From the very first moment that the band arrived on stage, the cameras were rolling and relaying the video directly to the screens with absolutely no detectable latency. Not only that, but what was visible on stage and what was happening on screen almost seemed like two very different things: I had to do a double take at first because I thought they were playing video from another concert. The fact is, that the members of U2 are such great stage performers; the camera operators are so well-versed in what they do; and perhaps more importantly the tech guys are so good at cutting from camera to camera in real-time, that the video feed looked like a very well produced music video. That nearly blew me away, to be honest.

As I watched the spectacle - completely in awe at the enormousness - the excessiveness - of the whole thing, I wondered: Can U2 even be appreciated in any other setting than this? I've honestly never been a huge U2 fan, but they played a lot of music I knew well - and during the show I just couldn't imagine going back home listening to those same songs on my iPod with my tiny earbuds. It just seemed so... pedestrian. I wonder if hardcore U2 fans ever have the same experience?

Imagining myself sitting at home, listening to U2 at a decible level that wasn't likely to cause permanent hearing damage led me to wonder about something even more interesting: U2's creative process. Can you imagine the four of them sitting around in a studio somewhere, trying to hammer out the next verse for another record-breaking hit? It almost seems laughable, but I suppose they must do it. Everything I know about U2 says that their music comes from a good place - they seriously want to make a change in the world, and they are using music to drive that change. Kudos to them for that, truly. But don't you wonder that maybe the fame gets to them sometimes? Do you think maybe when they sit around composing music that they're thinking about it might motivate 60 thousand people to jump out of their seats, and scream and yell and sing loud enough almost to be heard overtop of the $15 million worth of on-stage speakers?

Maybe that's cynical. I truly don't intend it to be. It just boggles my mind that such people exist, and at how different their lives are assumed to be from our own.

Settlers of Catan part II

2009-10-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Hah! Got a call this afternoon from my friend who yesterday put the Settlers bug in my ear. She was hanging out with some other friends of hers who had a copy of Settlers, plus the expansion. So my wife and I went over to play with them this evening. It was pretty awesome. But now I'm tired.

So until next time, faithful blog readers!

Settlers of Catan

2009-10-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

I had a hankering to play Settlers of Catan tonight. Unfortunately, I was denied the satisfaction. I've been saying for the past five or so years that I should buy a copy of it, but I never do.

The first time I played Settlers was in Moscow, of all places. I was in Russia studying mathematics on scholarship with 12 other students, one of them had brought a copy of Settlers along. It took a couple weeks before she finally convinced a couple of us to try the game, but she did a poor job of explaining the rules (or I did a poor job of listening to them - since this is my story we'll go with the former) and I didn't enjoy the game in the least. I'm not certain what convinced me to try it a second time, but this time around I read the rules first. Then I was hooked.

After that, another friend and I (not the one who had brought the game in the first place) ended up playing a couple games of Settlers almost every night. There were three other regular players that we would rotate through every couple of nights; it usually wasn't too hard to coerce any one of them away from dreary topology or number theory homework. By the end of the semester, I must have logged at least fifty or sixty games. I could go through the rather convoluted story of why I never bought a copy of Settlers after returning to Canada from Russia. Instead let's say that circumstances conspired against that particular fate, and although I've played Settlers many times since then, I've never owned a copy.

Tonight though, a couple friends were visiting and one mentioned how much fun a game of Settlers would be. That got me onto the Internet pretty quickly to see if I could source a copy for less than what the brick and mortar stores usually charge. I found a few at discount prices, but that didn't solve the central problem: We were all jonsin' for a game that very moment.

It was 9:45pm and the Chapters down the street wasn't supposed to close for another fifteen minutes. We rushed out the door and down the block, into the almost empty bookstore and up the stairs to the games section. There were plenty of copies of the Seafarers of Catan and Knights and Cities expansions, but no sight of the basic game. One helpfully sales lady even took a look in the store room for us. Ironic, of course, since every other time I've been through that store I stop at the games section to look at all the copies of Settlers normally on offer.

So Settlers this evening was not to be - but I think tonight might have been the proverbial straw.

Big red ball

2009-10-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have a big, red exercise ball. Like one you would find in a modern gym, or on early morning exercise programs with women in pastel spandex and leg warmers. It actually was purchased as a tool for exercise, used in particular to improve my core strength for long distance cycling. Admittedly, it didn't see a lot of use on that front.

I took the Big Red Ball (BRB, for short) out of retirement around this time last year. I had been thinking a lot about posture, and how poor mine was getting. I brought it to school, blew it up and used it as a kneeling seat until I graduated last April. It was great for keeping my back straight, but perhaps more importantly it was perfect for keeping my hips at a wide, open angle. You see, the worst part about desk chairs (from my limited knowledge of ergonomics) is that the angle between your legs and your lower upper body is far too small. This results in the contraction of some muscles and the lengthening of others in a way that is particuarly unnatural to the homo sapien body. Not to mention that standing up from such a position is terrible for your lower back - unless you're very careful to use your arms to support yourself in the process.

I started my new job almost three months ago now. Up until today I sat in a desk chair. I'm happy to announce I made the switch back to BRB this afternoon (it took a little longer than I had hoped, but I won't go into the whys here). The reactions from my co-workers were few, but varied: There were some who just plain ignored it; there were a couple who came over to talk to me about it; there was one guy who gave me the thumbs up when he walked by (I get the impression he's very active, so I think he appreciated the athletic potetial); and I got the inevitable "That's not a chair" and a couple experimental kicks. I expect at least a few more reactions over the next week or so - it will be interesting to see what else comes of it.

Reflections

2009-10-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks since I started blogging regularly. However, this is only my eighth post - so I've posted a little less than half of what I had hoped to; partly because there have been evenings when I couldn't think of what to write about, so I skipped out. This tells me that I have to be more proactive about taking notes during the day. There were many times these last two weeks that I've thought of something fun to blog about, but I didn't take write them down and so I forgot. The irony is that I always have a notebook handy - but until this moment I never considered using it in conjunction with blogging.

As for my apparent lack of commitment, I'd like to point out that most of those missed days were on weekends; and in turn, I blame my weekend AWOL behaviour on the ridiculous numbers of things that I intend to do each week. It always seems to fall to the weekend to clean up those odds and ends that just never get attended to on weekdays. That, and finding some time to relax (there's nothing I love better on a sunny weekend morning than spending time hanging around a quiet cafe with my wife). In any case, certain priorities always seem to get shifted on weekends. I'll have to work on that.

In all seriousness, it's been good to blog on a [fairly] regular basis. I've never been particularly successful at keeping a journal - and I've tried many times - so this has been a bit of a revelation for me. The blog format suits me better, I believe - although it certainly took a long time for me to warm up to the idea (see my first post). And despite the fact that there is very little evidence that anyone is actually reading this... I guess I'll keep it up. ;)

Exercise

2009-10-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know too many people who don't think that they need to exercise more. I think I need to exercise more. To illustrate: my current weekly exercise routine consists of biking to work every day (about fifteen minutes each way, more uphill on the way home), and playing an intense two hours of five-on-five, turf rules ultimate frisbee every Monday.

That's it. That's all I do every week. And I don't know if I can even count the biking, to be honest: that's fifteen minutes each way, but I never arrive at work sweaty and when I get home I'm not really breathing hard. So I'm getting a half hour of 'exercise' every weekday, but I'm not really burning many more calories than I would walking.

Here's the question though: is the point of exercise to burn calories? For people who want to lose weight, it definitely is. I'm pretty fit, but I can't run more than a couple kilometres without needing to slow down; I can bike fifty kilometres or so on my road bike, but not at the kind of speeds that professional atheletes do; I can play two hours of ultimate without collapsing - although I usually feel like I need to at the end. So do I need to exercise to get more fit, or just to make sure my muscles don't atrophe? I definitely don't need to do it get rid of excess fat.

The thing is, I saw this series of pictures of some elderly Asian men last weekend (oddly enough, in the bathroom of a cafe I stopped to eat at with my family while on the road). These eight old guys - impossible to tell how old, but one of them had a long, white ZZ Top-style beard - were thin as rails and having a good time hanging out on some park benches. They didn't look underfed, just skinny like you would expect an old guy to be. That's eight all together, and it could have been a set-up, but in North America you'd be hard pressed to find any group of old men that didn't include at least one pot-belly.

What I'm trying to reconcile in my mind is: How much exercise do I really need to do, and how much of my presumed need is from a cultural bias that says everyone needs to sweat for at least a half hour or so per day to be healthy? Now, don't take any of that the wrong way: I love exercise and I am happy to do it on a daily basis, but what level of 'exericise' constitutes exercise? I know what a fitness trainer would tell me, and I know what the Canada Food Guide would tell me - but how much of that well-known, oft-repeated wisdom is a product of our over-fed, poorly nurished North American consciousness? Is that wisdom erring on the side of caution, knowing how easy it is for the average North American to pop over to MacDonalds for a quick fix? I guess my question is: What is the evoloution of 'exercise' in North America?

Contemporary Dickens

2009-10-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

I watched a terrible movie tonight. There's really no need to go into details, but I will say that Rotten Tomatoes awarded it a glowing score of 27%. Honestly, I expected worse.

The interesting thing about the movie was that the plot was based entirely on a rather well known Dickens novel. Now, I've seen plenty of literary movies before; movies based on Shakespeare's writing abound, and there have been some fairly famous movies based on Tolkien's best known work - you might have heard of them. The movie that I watched tonight does not fit into the category of literary. The dialogue had no life to it, the characters were shallow and generally mean and spiteful. It was not a 'happy' movie - despite the 'happy' ending.

I can understand the desire to 'modernise' classical literature to make it more digestible to a contemporary audience. What I want to know is how the writers actually feel about it? I mean, these guys are taking a piece of well-respected literature and their painting it in all sorts of awful. I'm not sure how that would make me feel, as a writer. Seems kinda soul-sucking.

Who am I to judge though? I don't know what kind of process went into the making of this particular movie. I don't know the motivation behind using Dickens. I don't even know who the writers were, or the director or producers or anyone else involved in creating the film, for that matter. Maybe these people thought they were doing something good. For that matter, perhaps they did do something good; it got a 27% afterall - not a 2.7% - so someone must have liked it.

It's a long one.

2009-10-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

I wrote the following for two reasons:

As a record for myself and the friends I have mentioned within.
Dr. Gerri Sinclair, the executive director of the Centre for Digital Media was looking for stories of how people keep in touch using games for a paper she is writing. I probably wrote a lot more than she was expecting, but I think it was important to get it all down 'on paper' so to speak.

Anyway, I spent the last two hours or so writing this, so I have no real desire to write another blog post. Besides, this is a good a place as any to archive it.

I hope I got most of the details right...

I had (and still have for that matter) two very close friends in high school in Prince Edward Island, Matt and Pat. Matt and I used to spend some weekends and evenings together outside of school, especially in the summer when neither of us had any other work to do. Sometimes, Matt and I would visit another friend, Adam, at his parents' home. Adam and Matt had been friends for years, but Adam and I were only acquaintances, having only recently met in some high school classes. Our visits quickly became more frequent and soon included another friend, Kyle, who had been friends with Adam since they were quite young. Our time together was usually commanded by Nintendo 64 games - most notably, Mario Kart 64 and Goldeneye.

At some point before the end of high school we migrated from the Nintendo 64 to a rather complex strategy board-game called, Axis and Allies. For the next few years, until the end of high school, our gaming weekends were filled with tiny plastic tanks, infantry and handfuls of dice. Sometimes we'd mix it up by playing a round or two of Trivial Pursuit; and often by the end of the evening we would be in front of the Nintendo 64 again. Yet it was Axis and Allies that brought us together every week.

We all graduated high school in the spring of 1999 and post-secondary began the following fall. I however, moved out of the province to Ontario for university. My annual summer return saw Adam, Kyle and I reunited over the Axis and Allies board each weekend. Unfortunately, Matt no longer participated on a regular basis due to some external personal commitments. We continued playing on a weekly basis throughout the summer for two more years.

At some point - I can't quite recall when - my other close high school friend, Pat, began to join Adam, Kyle and I on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Pat was not a fan of involved board games and his continued presence meant that we played far less Axis and Allies. Conveniently though, since we were all enrolled in post-secondary education of some sort, most of us had purchased a laptop. The ease of portability resulted in an natural shift from board-games to a weekly LAN party. Quake III Arena was our game of choice, and we played it for hours every weekend.

In 2001, I decided that I no longer wanted to continue my education in Ontario. For the first time in two years we would all be together for the full year (Matt had since moved to Halifax). Our LAN party ended up moving from Adam's parents' home into Pat's apartment in Charlottetown. Around the same time, we 'graduated' from Quake III Arena to a Quake 'total conversion' mod called Urban Terror. Urban Terror was developed very much in the style of Counter Strike, and it led to years of weekend enjoyment. We were sometimes joined by another friend or two, but most often it was just the four of us.

In the fall of 2003 it was Adam's and Kyle's turn to leave Prince Edward Island. They left together to attend school in Ontario - Kyle to start an undergraduate degree and Adam a masters. Around the same time we first heard about the soon-to-be-released MMORPG, Final Fantasy XI. I had always been a Final Fantasy fan, and although I had never played an MMO the idea intrigued me. Pat, Adam and Kyle purchased a copy of Final Fantasy XI for me for my birthday - a mere 10 days after its official North American release. I was immediately hooked and it took only a matter of months for Pat, Adam and Kyle to join me in the world of Vana'diel.

We became obsessed. Its not surprising, given our past history in gaming and the addictive nature of MMOs. It became our foremost tool of communication - especially between those of us still in PEI (Pat and I) and the rest (Adam and Kyle) in Ontario. Our every conversation - in and out of the game - revolved around our most recent virtual exploits. My school work didn't suffer too much, but I was definitely distracted.

In the fall of 2004, nearly a year after we were first introduced to FFXI, I moved to Moscow, Russia for a semester of study. Unfortunately, in Mother Russia, game plays you! And I had no way to play FFXI; Pat, Adam and Kyle continued though. My main mode of communication with the others was through a blog that I kept while in Russia. I would post every couple of days, and Pat, Adam and Kyle would reply and tell me about what was happening in Vana'diel.

By the time I returned to PEI, I was out of the habit of playing FFXI. Knowing how it had affected my studies during the previous year, I decided to take gaming a little slower for my final semester before graduation. Weekends were still fair game though; Adam had returned from Ontario and so he and Pat and I would get together every weekend at Pat's apartment. Kyle would usually join us via the Internet and we continued our weekend LAN parties, usually beginning with a short Urban Terror session and ending with FFXI. Despite the fact that we were getting together only on the weekends, our communication actually became stronger: By then, we all had Gmail accounts which initiated the final evolution of our dgital correspondence: The conversablog.

The conversablog was born immediately after my return from Moscow. Since we had spent the better part of four months communicating via blog posts, it was easy for us to switch to Gmail's Converstaion model. This is how it works: One of us would start an email thread and include all four of us. We would use the thread almost like a forum; each of us could 'post' as often as he liked. The posts tended to be short in nature: quick jokes, links to interesting articles, all sorts of things. Gmail's Conversations supported a maximum of 150 individual emails (it has since been reduced to 100) and we would regularly fill a couple each week.

Eventually, we all gave up FFXI - some of us due to frustration, some due to boredom. I moved out west, initially to Victoria in 2005 and then to Vancouver in 2007. Pat moved to New Zealand for a half year, then to Britain for a year and is now in Ontario. Kyle has been in Ontario since his initial move in 2003 and Adam is currently in PEI. We haven't gamed together much in the last few years, but we keep in close contact using Gmail. We also all have Xbox 360s and Nintendo Wiis, so sending messages back and forth via Xbox Live or WiiConnect is quite common as well. But I think we're all getting anxious to find something else that we can do together. Final Fantasy XIV - Final Fantasy XI's spirtual successor, and Square Enix's next MMO - is due to be released next spring. Perhaps we'll find ourselves virtually reconnected before long.

From the kitchen

2009-10-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I watched my mother-in-law teach my wife how to make pastry. It was an interesting - and somewhat amusing - experience. Well, amusing for my father-in-law and I, who played the role of 'back-seat pastry chef' to a T. Our witty rejoinders weren't always well received; there were more than a few threats insinuating withheld dessert.

Baking is often touted as something more of a science than an art. I've heard it said many times that the secret of baking is to follow the recipe carefully, and without embellishment; yet yesterday's exercise seemed to provide a counter-example to the conventional doctrine: My mother-in-law duvulged her celebrated pasty recipe from memory. This caused some consternation for my wife since it required a few rather imprecise measurements - quite the opposite of what common wisdom dictates. Nevertheless, we were treated to some very tasty, flaky pie crust for dessert.

All this made me wonder about the nature of ritual in food preparation. How much of what we read in cookbooks is the product of a firm resolve to do things the 'right' way, or the way they have 'always' been, and how much comes from real experimentation - from understanding the basic principles of how certain flavours and ingredients combine? We hope (and I think this is the purpose of 'cooking' as we know it) that the sum of the whole is much greater than its parts, but is this always true? Certainly, it is sometimes difficult to argue the case across cultures. I know more than a few people who wouldn't sit within sight of a tasty plate of sashimi.

Culture is at least partially defined by the types of food its people eat and the methods of preparation they use. In North America we have our own food culture, one that has been influenced by the assimilation many dozens of ethnic backgrounds over the course of hundreds of years. Somehow though this food culture has taken on a life of its own, and is now an uncontrolled behemoth lacking much resemblance to its forebears. And despite the inherent dangers of this 'Western' diet, it seems to be spreading almost without resistance to the rest of the world. Will there come a time when food and food culture are no longer relevant? How much damage can this Goliath do before we can find a brave David to put it in its place?

I certainly hope the death of Gourmet isn't a harbinger of a more banal future for the kitchen.

Winter nights

2009-10-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I love winter evenings; but it's always a surprise to me. I never seem to remember, year after year, how much I enjoy walking through city streets on a cool, crisp evening. Especially if there is a little snow on the ground. There are a few reasons that such a scene appeals to me; a big part of it has to do with the warmth of the yellow light spilling from inside homes and storefronts. I'm also willing to admit - albeit somewhat reluctantly - that part of it is holdover from the childhood anticipation of Christmas.

However, the other much more rational and much less emotional part of me thinks that the light is a violation of the night. Poorly directed street lights and other city lights make a clear, star filled sky impossible. I've spent enough late night hours with a telescope - far beyond the reach of city lights - to know what I'm missing when I look up at night through a city's night-time orangey haze.

There is another, far more primal reason to enjoy warm light on a dark evening: It brings to mind cold winter nights spent huddled in front of a warm fireplace with family and friends. Which in turn excites long held genetic memories of the implicit power and safety in fire. A warm fire on a cold night easily brings to mind the feelings and sensations that our earliest ancestors must have had, staring in awe - and perhaps a little trepidation - at the dancing flames.

Gamey

2009-10-09T20:35:00.001-07:00

There's a weird thing about games sometimes being too 'gamey'. Is that like a pheasant that's been hung out to age too long? Ok... I jest. Really though, what does 'gamey' mean? I guess a gamey feature is one that only serves the purpose of advancing gameplay. Or, more accurately perhaps, it's a feature that advances gameplay in the absence of any apparent motivation from the game fiction.

So maybe the question is really one of immersion. Designers don't want to design gamey solutions to game design problems because it may break the sense of immersion that they've spent so much time building. How much does that really matter though? Are gamers really looking for a 'better' sense of immersion these days? When I'm playing a game - no matter how much I'm willing to suspend my sense of disbelief - there's never a moment that I forget that I'm playing a game. And when I play a game, I expect game-like conventions. I suspect that there are plenty of designers out there that wouldn't even blink at adding a health pack to an FPS, but might scoff at the idea of a HUD in a fantasy RPG.

I suppose though, that there are different levels of 'gamey'. Some solutions do fit better than others; the HUD in a fantasy RPG might be a little over the top. Yet how much does it really matter if the gameplay is good? If the systems work together and are fun, what does it matter that the game doesn't fit a certain aesthetic? Or is the assumption that gamey features imply a lack of effort on the developer's part?

Perhaps I'm simplifiying the situation too much. I haven't spent that much time working on AAA titles yet, so maybe I'll soon see something that changes my mind. Or maybe I'm just feeling antagonistic. In any case, I'd like to think that gamers respect the gameplay more than the presentation - but I wouldn't want to bet the farm on it.

I am...

2009-10-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

I've been busy.

That's my excuse. That's everyone's excuse. I'm not going to apologize though. I've been getting my shit together and doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Like getting a job. That's right, my dear readers, I am now gainfully employed and have been so for about two months. My official title is 'Mission Designer' and I work at Radical Entertainment. It's a pretty sweet gig - awesome people, awesome environment. And they feed us! Not every day - but they give us lots of food. I suppose mostly to keep us in the studio and productive - but I appreciate it nonetheless.

So why did I come back, you ask? What is it that brought me out of my blog-torpor? Well, the honest answer is this: I began this blog as a daily outlet for writing. It didn't matter what kind of writing - just writing, for fun or for practice. But I didn't keep my end of the bargain - I didn't write every day. Two days ago though, I was told that Ken Perlin is coming by the Centre for Digital Media to speak with the students there. I didn't know much about Ken Perlin, so I looked him up. I found his blog. Ken writes just about every day - 646 entries since January 2008. That's a lot. It gave me the kick in the pants that I needed. If Ken can do it, well, so can I.

So here's to hoping that I'll be back again. Sooner. Maybe even tomorrow.

I'll just have to think of something else to write about...

Oh, and I did read some of Ken Perlin's latest posts. He writes well and he writes interesting stuff. A blog worth following.

Not like 'antagonize'

2009-07-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

Protagonize is a cool little creative writing community developed by some folks from Vancouver. I first heard about it nearly a year ago, but I only recently found the time to sign up with a new account. The basic purpose of Protagonize is to provide a collaborative and supportive environment for its users to post writing in two basic forms: linear or addventure. Linear stories are what you're most familiar with when you think 'story'. Addventure stories (not actually coined by Protagonize) contain discrete segments ('chapters' in this case) that are not necessarily temporally contiguous, nor do they necessarily contain all the same characters, etc. It's sort of a 'choose your own adventure' for writers. Any member can contribute to any story tagged as being collaborative.

Anyway, like I said, I've finally gotten around to creating an account, and I posted my first chapter last week. I decided that to start with, I would try adding chapters to existing collaborative stories. I thought it might be an interesting exercise to try writing within the confines of another's concept and style. So far so good, I think, although it took me a little longer than I was hoping to write and edit the chapter. You can read the first chapter here; there's a link at the bottom of the page to the second chapter, which is the one I've written. Check it out - if you're at all interested in throwing some writing into cyberspace, this is a great forum in which to do it.

How are you today?

2009-06-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

The purpose of media (as in the popular definition of 'media', not the 'media' Marshall McLuhan refers to) is to tell stories. Storytelling has been part of human nature since the earliest days of communication; beginning with ancient cave paintings and culminating in the digital forms we know commonly today - video, blogs, whatever. Yet a lot of the stories we tell today have no clearly intended audience - they're just out there, floating around for anyone who might stumble upon them.

Which is why Jonathan Harris' 'exploration of human emotion' called, We Feel Fine is such a cool idea. It's been over two years since he gave this TED talk, so I'm a little behind the times I guess, but the project is still alive and well - and worth paying attention to.

inb4...

2009-04-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

So I used to think that keeping a blog was one of the most narcissistic things that someone could do. Everyone's all like: "Hey! Look at me - I have an opinion! It matters!" That was back in the day though. Like waaaay back in the day. I can actually remember the first time that I heard of blogging; it was long enough ago that they weren't even called 'blogs' then - they were called 'weblogs'. The exchange I had with my friend Patrick went something like:

Patrick: "I was reading this weblog today, and-"

Me: "Wait. You were reading a what?"

Patrick: "A weblog."

Me: "What's a weblog?"

Patrick: "Well, it's like an online journal where people write about things that happen to them or that interest them."

Me: "Oh. Well why would you want to do that?"

I'm still not sure. But hell, everyone else is doing it.

And actually, I take it back: I still think they're pretty narcissistic.